What Greater Thing
by Gmariam
Summary: "What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life." Sometimes Ianto's soulmate mark went away, simply disappeared. It always came back, but given its lack of permanency, Ianto wondered if perhaps the universe couldn't make up its mind about his soulmate. Or maybe he didn't have one.
1. Part One

Part One

" _What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life-to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?" ~George Eliot_

"There's no such thing as soulmates," Owen declared, grabbing a rogue sausage from the pizza box as he talked and dropping it on his half-eaten slice. "Science has debunked it a dozen times over."

"Actually," Tosh offered, "science has failed to prove it. That's not the same."

"Sure it is," Owen replied. "If scientists can't prove something exists, it doesn't exist."

"But they haven't proven that it _doesn't_ exist," Tosh threw back.

"It's the same thing, Tosh. No one's proved that soulmates exist, therefore they don't exist."

"You don't believe in them, do you?" asked Gwen. "It's why you're always so grumpy when I ask about your social life, isn't it?" She'd been with them long enough to pick up that much, at least. No one liked her meddlesome questions and condescending attitude about their relationships—or lack of them.

"No," Owen replied with a smirk. "I get annoyed because I don't like hearing about you and your bloody boyfriend. You're not better than us because you're living with some bloke, and we certainly don't need to be told how sad and lonely we are all the time."

Tosh nodded, and even Jack agreed. "He's got a point there."

"What about you?" Gwen asked. "Do you believe in soulmates, Jack?"

"I'll believe in almost anything," Jack said through a mouthful of pizza. "Little green men on the moon? Met 'em. Loch Ness monster? She loves chicken curry. Time travel and spaceships? Old hat around here." He wagged his eyebrows and continued eating as Gwen stared around the table.

"How do you explain the matching marks?" she demanded. "How do you explain how two people who've never met before but end up falling in love could have matching birthmarks in the exact same place on their bodies, long before they ever meet?"

Jack shrugged while the others remained silent. "Do none of you believe?" she asked. "Don't you have a mark you wonder about? Search for on your partners, to see if they're the one?"

"Is that what you did?" Owen asked sarcastically. "Quizzed each bloke you slept with about his birthmarks? Did you take pictures, keep a chart?"

"Of course not," she said, but she still looked embarrassed. "But it was something I…well, I kept an eye out for, hoping to find the one that matched mine."

"And when you did, you instantly knew he was the one?"

"Yes."

"What if he'd been an oaf, or an arse, or psychotic ax murderer? What do you do then?" Owen took a drink and continued when she didn't answer. "Do you stay with a person you can't stand because you both have pigment irregularities on the bottom of your right foot? Or do you move on and find a partner based on things like personality and compatibility and love rather than some mystical connection we're supposed to believe is real?"

Gwen stared at him. "You don't have one, do you?" she asked instead of answering the question.

"I did," Owen said. "It's gone."

"How?" she asked without thinking. Most people tended to keep their soulmate marks to themselves; it was not usually a topic of casual conversation around the lunch table at work.

"I had it removed," Owen replied. She gasped.

"You didn't!"

"Of course I didn't, because I don't believe in that stuff." He stuffed another piece of pizza in his mouth. Gwen turned to Jack, who raised his hands.

"Don't look at me. I'm complicated."

She frowned and looked at Tosh with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't have one," she said. "And it doesn't bother me, because it doesn't mean I won't fall in love and find a partner someday. We can still find happiness without a mark. Like Owen said, it's just pigment and skin cells."

Gwen shook her head, like it was unbelievable that anyone could think and feel differently than her. That was one thing that had struck Ianto from the start, that for as much as Gwen tried to empathize with others, she still saw everything through the lens of her own rose-colored glasses.

Which was probably why she didn't even ask him about his mark.

* * *

Two months later and he was glad she hadn't.

He'd been back for a week. A long, grueling week of tiptoeing around the coworkers he'd betrayed, who'd almost been killed because of his actions, his decisions. He wanted to be back—Torchwood was all he had now—but it was hard. And when he heard them talking about him, he wondered if it would ever get any easier.

"Do you think she was the one?" Gwen asked Tosh, speaking quietly by the computer. They probably didn't realize Ianto was nearby, making coffee; they certainly didn't realize he could hear them.

"I don't know," Tosh replied. "He's never said anything about a soulmate or about having a mark. He did everything he could to save her, so it would make sense."

"I can't imagine what he's going through," Gwen murmured. "How hard it must be. They say when someone loses their soulmate, they lose their mark too. They lose even their last physical connection to them. How awful."

Tosh nodded in agreement, and Ianto wondered if Gwen would make the connection to what Owen had said that one day at lunch, that his mark was gone. Ianto had noticed and managed to dig deep enough in the files to find Owen's fiancé, lost to an alien parasite. No wonder he'd been so antagonizing; he'd lost the love of his life.

Ianto may not have shared a mark with Lisa, but she'd been the love of his life as well. They should have been soulmates, and the fact that they weren't didn't lessen the pain at all. He wondered if Gwen would understand. Too often she poked her nose into other people's business and judged them unfairly. Filling two cups of coffee, he walked over to Tosh's computer, making sure his footsteps were loud enough for them to hear him coming. He handed them each a mug, and they thanked him profusely before lapsing into silence as they drank. Ianto watched them for a moment, started to walk away, then glanced back.

"We didn't share a soulmate mark," he told them. "But I still loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."

He left them with that thought, refusing to think about his own mark, a dark patch of skin on the side of his left wrist. It was sort of shaped like a bird; as a boy, he'd imagined it was a dragon. He assumed it was a soulmate mark, but it wasn't permanent like others. Sometimes it went away, simply disappeared. It always came back, but given its lack of permanency, Ianto wondered if perhaps the universe couldn't make up its mind about his soulmate.

Or maybe he didn't have one.

* * *

"So do you have a soulmate mark?" Tosh asked him several weeks later. It was Christmas Eve and they were sitting on the sofa waiting for Jack to come back from tracking down Ianto's car. Owen was with Diane and Gwen was with Emma, and Jack had insisted they stay while he went to find John Ellis. "I'm sorry, that was personal, you don't have to answer."

"No, it's fine," Ianto replied, sipping his coffee. "I do, but it's complicated."

She bumped him on the shoulder with a smile. "That's what Jack says, that he's complicated. What's so complicated? You either have one or you don't."

"Do you believe in soulmates?" he asked instead. "You once said you don't have a mark."

She set down her coffee and turned toward him. "I do believe in soulmates, but I don't believe we're all destined to be with that person from the moment we're born."

"Oh really," he said, smiling at her. "A maverick. Do tell."

"Well, I think if we're meant to be with someone, the mark could appear later on as a sort sign, if you will. So you know for sure."

"Why wouldn't your heart tell you?" Ianto asked curiously. "Why the mystical, epidermal confirmation?"

"I don't think it's mystical," she replied. "I'm sure there's a perfectly rational scientific explanation. We're just decades, if not centuries, away from understanding it."

"Most people's marks are present long before they meet their soulmate." Ianto had had his since birth, and it had been disappearing for as long as he could remember.

"I'm not saying it happens all the time," she said in defense. "I'm saying maybe it's possible, for people who aren't born with a mark to develop later. Maybe it takes a little longer for the universe to find their match. We work for Torchwood. We've seen so much we can't explain. What's another thing?"

He patted her on the knee, admiring her hope. "I agree. I like your theory, it makes more sense than being destined from the moment you're born to fall in love with someone you've never met. And it's no stranger than a lot of other things out there we've experienced."

They were silent for a moment. "So have you met your soulmate?" she asked quietly.

"No," Ianto said. "And I'm not sure I ever will."

"Why?" she said. "More than three-quarters of people with a soulmate mark meet their soulmate someday. Why wouldn't you?"

He shrugged and did not answer.

"What's so complicated? Or do you not want to meet them?"

"Oh, I'd like to meet them," said Ianto. "Though I'm not sure this job is conducive to things like soulmates and families and normal lives. It's just that…well. It comes and goes."

"What does?" she asked. "Whether or not you want to fall in love and live happily ever after? Why wouldn't you?"

He laughed bitterly. "Ah, not that, no. The mark itself. It comes and goes."

She was clearly confused. He was tempted to show her to explain, but preferred to keep it private. He was pretty sure even Jack did not know where it was, but then, he probably wasn't looking, it was often dark, and sometimes they didn't manage to get all their clothes off in time.

"Usually it's there, a fairly typical mark, but sometimes it disappears." He shrugged. "I saw a doctor about it in London, but she had no idea how to explain it. I'm not sure she even believed me. She said maybe it'll become more pronounced when I meet my soulmate."

Tosh shook her head. "I've never heard of that!"

"Neither had the doctor or any of her colleagues. She wanted to run all kinds of tests, track me for the next five years. I told her I'd call."

"Does it hurt?" she asked tentatively. "When it disappears?"

"No, I can't tell when it disappears, but it itches and burns when it returns. That's how I know it's back."

She was quiet for a moment. "Have you talked to Owen about it?"

"Why?" Ianto asked. "It's not a medical concern. It's not even a personal concern. I've lived with it my entire life. Maybe someday I'll meet my soulmate and it'll become permanent, or I'll keep losing it on and off for the rest of my life. And I'm fine with either one."

"I hope it's the former," she said. "For us both!" She picked up her coffee mug and clinked it against Ianto's cup with a smile. They talked some more, about work and Christmas and their plans for the new year. As they talked, Ianto felt the familiar burn on his wrist, telling him his mark had not only disappeared, but reappeared.

Then Jack called to tell them John was dead, and he forgot all about it.

* * *

As Ianto stepped into the wreckage of the Hub with Tosh and Owen, he noticed the familiar itch on his arm and rubbed at his watch. But there was too much work to do, so he ignored it and started cleaning up as they waited for Jack and Gwen. The itch went away quickly.

When Gwen came back with Jack's body, they placed him in the autopsy bay and cleaned him, but moved him to the morgue when he did not resurrect. She insisted he would come back, but even though Ianto had seen Jack rise from a gunshot wound, and even though he had suspected that Jack was curiously long-lived, he did not hold much hope that Jack would return this time. He had faced down a demon from before time and saved the world. How did someone walk away from that?

When he finally went home to shower and change, Ianto saw that his mark had disappeared again. He waited for the tingle telling him it had returned, but for the first time it did not reappear within a few hours. He went back to work and started checking for it whenever he left the room. Hadn't he been through enough over the last year? He didn't expect to ever meet his soulmate, but if his mark disappeared forever, he'd never even have a chance. Yet for three days, his arm was clear and smooth. No itch, no reassuring burn.

It was while he was working on the Rift Manipulator with Tosh that his wrist started to bother him. He rubbed it several times before he realized what it meant, and was about to roll up his sleeve when Tosh let out a gasp and ran off. He glanced around the machine to see what had happened and there was Jack, alive and well and suddenly pulling him in for an embrace and kissing him.

Maybe it didn't matter if his mark disappeared and reappeared. Jack was alive.

* * *

And then Jack was gone.

Ianto lost his mark again that day, and several times during the months Jack was missing. And then Jack was back and asking him out and Ianto's wrist was itching again and they were caught up in a time loop and he was too confused to think straight for days.

They went on the date once the Rift quieted down, and though it was awkward at times, they decided to try again. And again. Until eventually it felt normal and they spent more and more of their time off together. For the first time in months Ianto started to feel grounded and happy, almost normal. He forgot all about his mark, especially when didn't disappear for weeks at a time. He didn't need some birthmark to tell him who he'd spend the rest of his life with. Right now he was with Jack, and he would stay with Jack for as long as they had together.

And since he worked for Torchwood, he didn't have forever. Why waste his life trying to find someone who may or may not exist?

* * *

Author's Note:  
I have no idea where this came from. I sat down to work on one of my chaptered works-in-progress, but they are stuck hard in the mud. I wanted to write a Halloween story, so I went on Tumblr for inspiration. When I got off, I was writing a soulmate story. Like it just followed me home with puppy dog eyes or something.  
Many thanks to DinoDina, whose soulmate stories always inspire me and who helped me hash out some ridiculous details with this one. It's three short parts, hopefully posted this week. Thank you for reading!


	2. Part Two

Part Two

It was after Gwen's wedding that Ianto started to think about his soulmate mark more. Once Jack's melancholy lifted and he settled back down to his normal self, he asked Ianto about it late one night. He'd been back for almost six months but had never brought it up, and now after a particularly vigorous round of sex, he finally asked.

"Do you believe in soulmates? Like Gwen and Rhys?"

"You mean, do I believe that Gwen and Rhys are soulmates or do I believe in the concept in general?"

"I really don't want to know what you think about Gwen and Rhys," Jack replied dryly. "So let's go with the second. In general."

"In general…I don't know. I've seen so much working for Torchwood that it seems both utterly impossible and completely conceivable."

Jack chuckled. "I know what you mean. When you've seen the things we've seen…"

"Exactly," Ianto agreed. They were lying in Ianto's bed, side by side on their backs in the dark. He tucked his right arm behind his head and thought about a more detailed answer. "In some ways, it's ridiculous, to think that the universe somehow puts people together at birth with matching birthmarks. It almost forces you to believe in a higher power, manipulating a gigantic chess board somewhere. But what about free will? What about finding our own path in life, our own partners?"

Jack was quiet for a moment. "By my time, by the 51st century, soulmate marks are rare, and most people don't believe in them anyway. So if there is a higher power playing games with people's love lives, they get sick of it in about two thousand years."

"Tosh thinks there's a perfectly rational explanation," he said. "One scientific theory is that it's a biological means to ensure the optimal reproduction of the species. Perhaps humans evolve over the next two thousand years to the point of not needing a soulmate to reproduce."

"You think it's a function of biology?" Jack teased. He flipped on his side and started running his hand along Ianto's leg. "Doesn't explain same-sex soulmates, you know."

"It doesn't," Ianto agreed. "Which is why it's an asinine theory that's easily debunked. But there must be some physiological reason for it. Genetic markers, quantum entanglement, marketing ploy that got out of hand. Which all make more sense than some mystical matchmaker bestowing love upon the ignorant masses. But why would it die out? If humanity spreads out to the stars, wouldn't soulmates as an evolutionary tool be even more useful for finding happiness? Or producing offspring?"

"If it's an evolutionary tool," Jack started, "then it may die off simply because the human race grows too large, too genetically complex, and too open to other possibilities. And by the way, looking at soulmates as an evolutionary tool for a biological function really takes all the love and romance out of it."

"I'm not sure what's so romantic about matching birthmarks," Ianto pointed out. "Love is connecting with someone on an emotional and spiritual level, not some kind of pinky promise."

Jack laughed out loud. "Remind me never to make a pinky promise with you."

Ianto laughed softly as well. "What do you think of it?" he asked. "Being from the future where people make their own relationship choices without consulting mysterious birthmarks?"

Jack was quiet for a long moment. "At first, I thought it was ridiculous, like you said. It seemed so old-fashioned, almost superstitious. It's practically a myth in the 51st century, so it was hard to believe. But as I saw more and more people meet their soulmates, it started to make sense. They were so happy, every one of them. Maybe it's not a bad thing if helps people find each other and believe in each other a little more. So they have some time together before it's over, rather than always waiting and wondering."

Ianto wondered if Jack had a mark, but given he had been born in a time when the mark was rare, he doubted it. And Jack seemed almost sad talking about it; Ianto didn't want to upset him by asking about something Jack might want but could never have.

Jack surprised him, though. He propped himself up on his elbow and grinned down at Ianto. "So do you have one? A soulmate mark?"

"Maybe," Ianto replied without thinking. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe? I thought you either have one or you don't have one."

"Some people lose them," Ianto pointed out. Jack's eyes slipped closed and he mouthed a curse.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. He shook his head and laid back down. "I didn't even think…was Lisa your soulmate?"

Ianto did not answer right away, though he wasn't sure why. He remembered Tosh and Gwen talking about it, and how he had told them, but that was more to make them feel bad for gossiping, and he didn't want to make Jack feel bad for asking an innocent question.

"No, she wasn't," he said. "She didn't have a mark at all."

Silence. "But do you have one? I know it happens—people fall in love with someone who's not their soulmate and are happy for years. Or they meet someone after losing their soulmate. There's nothing wrong with that, even in this backward century."

Ianto laughed through his nose at Jack's not-so-subtle put down. "Let me guess, the 51st century is all free love and open relationships?"

"For a lot of people, yes," Jack answered honestly. "But some people also settled down with one or two partners, had families, stayed together for life. My parents did." He shook his head. "I used to think I'd do the same, but so many things changed." He trailed off, silent as he remembered his long past.

Ianto turned on his side. For some reason, he wanted to see Jack's face, his reaction. "I have one, but it's different," Ianto told him. "Sometimes I'm not even sure if it is a soulmate mark. It comes and goes—usually it's there, but sometimes it disappears, then reappears. I figure the universe can't make up its mind about me."

Jack's face looked both concerned and interested. "I've never heard of that. Does it bother you? That it's not always there?"

"Not really," Ianto lied easily. "It always comes back. And in some ways, there's less pressure to find my soulmate when it keeps disappearing on me." He smiled and sighed. "But mostly, it's like Tosh once said. Not having a mark—or in my case, a consistently permanent one—doesn't keep me from being with other people, from finding a partner someday. They may not be my destined soulmate in the chess game of life, but I can still fall in love, live a normal, happy life with someone."

"She did say that, didn't she?" Jack murmured, looking thoughtful.

"When Gwen was giving us a hard time about our love lives last year," Ianto offered dryly.

"Which time was that?" Jack asked, and they laughed together.

"Tosh even thinks that a mark could appear later, when soulmates meet instead of when they're born. So maybe mine will become permanent when I meet my soulmate, but if not, I'm happy where I am."

Jack rolled on top of him, the smile on his face warm and genuine. "Me too," he said. "Although I wouldn't mind if we were someplace warm and sunny—naked on a beach, perhaps."

"Right," Ianto replied, though his heart skipped a beat at the thought. "Because we have so much free time for a holiday."

"Maybe we should make the time," Jack replied, kissing his jaw, his nose, his lips. "We've earned it."

"Ten times over," Ianto murmured, thinking of how busy they were with Gwen on her honeymoon.

"We should do it."

Ianto tried not to think about it, but he couldn't help it. It would be amazing, but it would never happen. Not with Torchwood, and not for them.

* * *

Jack asked him about it again three days later. "So where is this mysterious soulmate mark?" he asked. "And how come I've never noticed it?"

"Because you weren't looking. There was usually something else going on instead. Like right now." Ianto continued unbuttoning Jack's shirt and began kissing his neck and collarbone.

"Is it there now?" Jack asked, stretching his neck for better access. Ianto left a quick love bite below his ear and pushed Jack's braces and shirt from his shoulders.

"Last I checked," Ianto murmured, working on Jack's trousers. "Which is not that often. I usually only notice when it itches."

"Itches?" Jack started working on Ianto's clothing. "Is that normal?"

"Means it's back," Ianto told him. He let Jack take over nibbling. "Always itches after it disappears and comes back."

"You ever have anyone look at it?" Jack asked curiously.

"Doctor couldn't figure it out, and I didn't want to be a guinea pig, so I told her I'd call her if it ever became permanent."

"But no calls yet?" Ianto grunted a negative and Jack's hands slipped into his trousers. "When was the last time it bothered you?"

"Few days ago," Ianto told him. "When we got back from chasing that Hoix into an alley."

Jack stopped and frowned. "I died that night."

"You did." Ianto wondered if he'd killed the mood by bringing it up. After a moment of silence, he stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Jack's waist, massaging his backside. Jack still seemed thoughtful.

"Strange coincidence," he offered.

"Maybe," Ianto replied. "But it's fine now, and so are you. Right?" He had a feeling Jack was about to back off, but Jack met his eyes and nodded.

"Right. Sorry. Where were we?"

Ianto showed him exactly where they were. He did not show Jack his mark, though, and Jack didn't ask again.

* * *

Ianto caught Jack watching him over the next two weeks and wondered if something was going on. Had he done something wrong? Was Jack getting ready to end things, to leave? If anything, Jack seemed slightly more interested in Ianto than normal, almost clingy. They spent even more time together, and the sex—which had already been great—was amazing.

After several days of unusually close behavior, Ianto's paranoia got the best of him. He wanted to believe, to enjoy it while he could, but he was too worried for what it might mean in the end. When Jack cooked an extra fancy dinner one night, Ianto thanked him but gave in to his worries.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked in return.

"Something's going on," Ianto replied. "With you. Is anything wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Jack replied, frowning at his plate and continuing to eat. "Why do you think something's wrong?"

"You promise not to get upset?"

"No, but now you have to say it anyway," Jack replied.

"You've been acting different lately," Ianto said. "Especially since the wedding. More…I don't know, attentive. Considerate. Almost a big clingy. Not in a bad way," he added as the look on Jack's face changed. "But in a different way. At least for us. Should I be concerned?"

Jack set down his fork and wiped his mouth. "Do you remember when I asked you about your soulmate mark?" he asked instead.

Ianto nodded, caught off guard by the turn in the conversation. "Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"I didn't say it did," Jack replied with a shrug. "But you didn't say much about your mark other than it comes and goes. You never even said where it was."

"I didn't realize it was important," Ianto said. "Because it's not. I have a mark, but it's so odd that most days I doubt it means anything."

"What if it did?" Jack asked. "What would you do?"

"Jack, what are you talking about?" Ianto was definitely starting to worry. "I don't understand what you're getting at."

"What if you met your soulmate?" Jack asked.

Ianto stared at him. "What do you mean?" he asked, though he had some idea of what Jack was asking now.

"Would you be happy? Would it change things between us? With Torchwood?" Jack leaned back and smiled, but Ianto could see the casualness was forced. "What would you do?"

"I have no idea," Ianto replied honestly. "I haven't thought about it, not for a long time. I like what we have, Jack. I…" He trailed off. "I'd miss it," he finished quietly. "I don't know what I'd do."

Jack nodded as if Ianto had given the right answer somehow and started eating again. "So where is it?" he asked. "Unless it's a big secret?"

Ianto sighed, wondering why Jack was so concerned about it. "It's on my left arm," he said. "By my wrist."

Jack stopped in mid-bite, swallowed, and set down his fork again. "Didn't you tell me that was a burn from Canary Wharf?"

"That's the one," Ianto said. He took a sip of wine, concentrating more on the glass than Jack staring at him with a frown.

"So why did you tell me it was a burn?"

"Quickest, easiest way to avoid questions," Ianto replied. "And not think about it."

"Not think about your soulmate or about us?" Jack asked, and there was a hurt edge to his voice.

"Both, but mostly to not think about it disappearing." Ianto pushed his plate away. "Look, it's not something I like to think about, because I know it's not normal. Everyone I've told either looked at me like I was a freak or a pity case. I'd like to think I'm neither, but it's hard when even my mother gives me puppy dog eyes every time she asks if I'm met my soulmate."

"Do you want to meet your soulmate?"

"I don't know!" Ianto exclaimed. "I set it aside years ago, Jack. It's why I started wearing a watch, so I would forget it was there. If I was supposed to meet them, the mark wouldn't keep disappearing, would it? So it's probably not meant to be, and I'm fine with that. Except when people badger me about it," he added under his breath.

Jack nodded, reached forward and squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry. I won't badger you anymore."

Ianto swallowed hard, his emotions thick. Why, he couldn't say; he meant everything he'd said, and yet he'd held back as well. He wasn't sure if he wanted to meet his soulmate because he wasn't sure if he could leave Jack. A part of him even wished Jack were his soulmate, but then he remembered that Jack was from the future, and immortal. It wouldn't work out anyway.

"It's fine," he said. "I'm sorry, too. Want to watch some telly? Top Gear should be starting soon."

"Actually," Jack said, finishing his plate and grinning. "I had some other ideas."

"Already?" Ianto asked, hoping the night would take a lighter turn.

"Always," Jack laughed. He smiled warmly. "Help me clean up first?"

They cleaned the kitchen side by side, and Ianto put the conversation from his mind. Later in bed, he tried not to think about his soulmate mark. He was certain Jack would look for it and made sure to distract him as much as possible. But maybe it didn't matter—whether he had a soulmate mark, whether Jack saw it. For now, Ianto had made his choice, and he had chosen Jack.

* * *

Author's Note:  
Third and final part this weekend. Thank you for reading!


	3. Part Three

Part Three

Jack was dead, and it had been a gruesome, grisly death. Ianto had seen Jack die a dozen different times now, and it was never easy. Yet something about this one rattled him more than any other. Watching the rabid alien rip off Jack's left arm and then plunge its bloody claws into Jack's chest to throw him across the room had been like something from a horror movie of the worst kind. Ianto had pumped every bullet he'd had into the creature before grabbing a nearby fire ax and lopping off its limbs and finally its head.

Jack called to him from the ground, his leg twisted at the wrong angle and blood bubbling from his mouth. Ianto radioed for the others—this was a cleanup beyond even his best effort—and sat with Jack on the floor of the empty warehouse, both of them covered in blood and gore. Jack squeezed Ianto's hand with his remaining arm and held his gaze until he'd gone. Ianto didn't move, breathing deep to calm his panicked mind; it was all he could do to stop himself from screaming into the dark.

If he sat there much longer, though, he knew he'd lose it, so he got up, covered Jack as best as he could with his coat, and began cleaning up the macabre scene. He found Jack's severed arm and made sure to pocket Jack's wrist strap, then moved the arm closer, even though Jack had once told him that lost limbs didn't rejoin his body, but regrew; Ianto couldn't imagine how painful such a regeneration must be.

Once the others arrived, cleaning up the warehouse went much quicker, and Owen eventually sent him to stay with Jack wait while they finished. They placed Jack in the back seat of the SUV and Ianto sat with him while Owen drove silently to the Hub. Gwen and Tosh began bringing in the remains of the creature while he and Owen took Jack to the medical bay. After checking Ianto over for any injuries—the worst being a dark bruise across his face and a deep gash on his forearm that needed stitches—Owen sent him to clean up while he tended to Jack. Ianto was covered in the remains of Jack and the alien that had killed him, so he gratefully went downstairs to Jack's room, peeling off his clothes, binning them, and inspecting his wounds. A large bandage was wrapped around his left forearm, covering up his soulmate mark; pulling back the gauze, Ianto wasn't surprised to see that the mark had disappeared.

As he showered and washed himself of blood and guts and other viscera, Ianto felt the adrenaline fade and began to shake. He turned up the heat, sat down on the floor of the shower, and let the water pour over him, refusing to give in to his emotions. He was fine, Jack would be fine, they'd killed the alien and saved the city and covered it all up. All in a day's work—only some days were far more horrific than others.

He leaned back against the wall of the shower and felt a sharp sting in his arm under the bandage. Thinking he'd snagged the stiches open somehow, he checked and instead found his soulmate mark returning. It was the first time he'd actually watched it return as it slowly faded back into its familiar shape and place. It was strange, but comforting; his heart rate slowed, and with a sudden unexpected insight, he knew what he'd find when he went upstairs to see Jack.

He didn't have to go upstairs. When he finished his shower and stepped into Jack's room, he saw Jack slowly coming down the ladder wearing only his trousers and a blanket draped around his shoulders. He looked tired and pale, and didn't say anything when he turned and saw Ianto standing in the doorway wearing only a towel. Jack eyed him warily, as if unsure what to expect. To be honest, Ianto wasn't sure either.

He walked up to Jack and gazed at his left arm, clean and new and perfectly attached, with no blood or bone anywhere to be seen. No wrist strap either, and Ianto reminded himself to make sure Jack got it back, because he didn't look the same without it. He took Jack's hand and ran his fingers over Jack's palm and along his forearm, until he came to what he was looking for, what he couldn't believe he'd not noticed until that moment: a birthmark, light but shaped exactly like Ianto's, in almost exactly the same place on the side of Jack's left wrist.

He placed his fingers over it, his heart racing wildly. "How did I never notice before?" he asked softly.

Jack looked nervous and apprehensive. "Because you weren't looking. Because there was usually something else going on instead. And maybe because you didn't want to."

Ianto's eyes flipped up to Jack's face. "You noticed. It's why you've been asking so many questions the last few weeks."

Jack shook his head. "I wondered, but not until after the wedding, when we were talking about it. About how yours disappears."

"Why did you ask about it then and not earlier?" Ianto asked.

"I was curious," Jack replied. "I'd had a mark for years, and after the wedding, I wondered about yours."

Ianto shook his head. "You never talked about it before. You said it was complicated."

"You never asked," Jack replied. "And it is complicated, like yours. It appeared one day, years ago. Like the others."

"You have more than one?" Ianto dropped Jack's hand and stepped back. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I," Jack admitted. "But this is my third one. I wasn't lying when I said they were rare in my time. No one believes in them. I wasn't born with one. It wasn't until years after I came here that I developed one, and it was even longer before I found her. And then she died, and it disappeared." He took a deep breath. "Years later, another one appeared, and after three decades of wondering, I met them as well. We had a bit longer together, but they died and that mark disappeared too."

"And this one?" Ianto asked. "It appeared, just like that?"

"I don't remember the exact day I noticed it, but it was probably about twenty-five years ago," Jack said softly. "After losing two soulmates already, I put it from my mind. I even tried to cut it out once, but it came back. It always comes back, like me."

"Which is why my mark disappears," Ianto whispered. "And then returns."

"It's why I started wearing my wrist strap on my other hand."

"Like my watch."

Jack nodded. "Like your watch. We were both trying to hide it, trying to hide _from_ it. I'm sorry I didn't see it sooner," he said, his voice cracking.

"Why?" Ianto asked. "Why are you sorry? It's not your fault, and it's not like we have a choice. It's—"

"Science?" Jack asked. "Destiny?"

Ianto was silent. "I don't know," he said. "I don't know what it is, and I'm sorry too, but…" He set it aside and met Jack's eyes. "Are you all right? It was bad out there. I can't imagine how painful it was."

"It was pretty bad," Jack agreed. "But I'm okay, aside from being more stiff and tired than usual. Regrowing limbs tends to do that."

"Right." Ianto went into business mode, also known as denial. "You should clean up, a hot shower will help. I took your wrist strap, it's on the counter. I need to find clean clothes…" He glanced around the room, anywhere but at Jack. His heart was racing and he felt almost light-headed, like he needed to get out of the small bunker and into a large room with fresh air where he could run and shout and beat at the walls. Because he'd found his soulmate, only it was the last person he'd ever thought it would be. How could he be soulmates with Jack, when Jack was destined to live forever? Ianto would die someday and leave Jack behind, and even his mark on Jack's body would fade, leaving him nothing but a distant memory a thousand years in the future. That wasn't what soulmates were: they were supposed to spend their lives together, not just one lifetime.

He started toward the ladder, unthinking; he was wearing only a towel, but he couldn't stay, not now. How was it possible? It couldn't be, it shouldn't be, it had to be a mistake, otherwise the universe was torturing them once more.

Jack reached out for his hand before Ianto scrambled up the ladder half naked. He tugged him closer and gently turned him around, holding him tight.

"Please don't go," Jack said quietly.

"I'm sorry," Ianto said, his voice rough. "But I don't know what to say, what to feel. I have a mark, and you have a mark, and somehow they match, only we've already been doing this for months, and now—now what are we going to do?"

"We do what most people do," Jack said. "Which is not shut down and run away."

"Jack!" he exclaimed, holding up his left arm and waving it around. "We have soulmate marks. Only mine disappears every time you die! Because you're immortal! And I'm not!"

Jack grabbed his hand and turned it to see the mark, gently moving the wrap and running his fingers over it, then turning his own wrist over. He gazed at their matching marks, a look of wonder on his face that was confusing for Ianto. Why was Jack not panicking like him?

"I think it's amazing," Jack said. "I don't care about those things right now, and neither should you."

"How can I not?" Ianto asked. He couldn't help but stare at their arms, at the marks that clearly matched, hidden for so long, discounted and denied. He wanted to believe, but there was a part of him that simply couldn't. It was too incredible, and too hard.

Jack met his eyes, held his gaze, his face more serious than Ianto had ever seen it. "Because I'm the one who has to go on without you, and that's a price I'm willing to pay to be with you now."

Ianto dropped Jack's hand and stepped back. "You said you tried to cut it out! That you hid it for years! What changed?"

Jack narrowed his eyes and gestured at Ianto's bandaged arm. "You hid yours. You gave up. What's changed is that it's you, you're the one. We've been given a chance here, Ianto. Why wouldn't we take it?"

Ianto struggled with his answer. He had so many questions, so many doubts. Jack was older, Jack was immortal, Jack was extroverted and experienced and had traveled across time and space—everything Ianto was not. Ianto was young, he was quiet, he was mortal, and he'd never left the country let alone the planet. He liked Star Wars and going to his local pub, his mum's Welsh cakes and Dylan Thomas and Stereophonics; Jack liked expensive scotch, Glen Miller and Isherwood. How could they possibly be together?

And yet, they had been together for six months now, ever since Jack had come back. Not as a proper, normal couple, of course…but they did most of the proper, normal couple things, didn't they? Went out on an occasional date, spent the night together. Cooked dinner, ate breakfast in bed. Watched television. Hunted Weevils. Held each other when things got bad. What would actually change? Maybe their marks simply confirmed what they already were to each other, like an official stamp of approval from the universe. Checkmate. Soulmate.

Only their story was bound to end badly. Jack was immortal and Ianto worked for Torchwood. How much time would they have? Was it worth the heartbreak in the end?

"It won't be easy," Ianto said. Jack stepped closer and put his arms around Ianto's waist, a smile starting to form on his face.

"I'm always easy," he murmured.

"Not what I mean," Ianto murmured back. Jack nodded.

"I know, but we've been doing okay so far. Everyone has their challenges—" he stopped Ianto from protesting with a finger to his lips "—and we have more than most, I know, but it's worth it. For me."

Jack had answered Ianto's unspoken question with honesty and sincerity. Though his fears remained, Ianto could only answer the same, though far less eloquently.

"It's been worth it to me for a while," he admitted so quietly he could barely hear his own voice. "I never thought this would happen to me, though. To us."

"But it's a good thing?" Jack asked, still smiling.

"Yeah," Ianto said. "It's good. Amongst other things," he added, thinking it was impossible and insane as well. And possibly the best mistake he was about to make in his entire life.

Jack kissed him, a short but slow kiss, filled with acceptance and promise. Ianto couldn't help but smile before he stepped back.

"You should still clean up," he said. "And I should still find some clean clothes. And then…"

"And then?" Jack asked, sounding hopeful.

"Well, obviously you're coming back to mine," Ianto said. "I'm not staying here tonight, and neither are you. And maybe we could, I don't know…"

"Celebrate?" Jack suggested, wagging his eyebrows.

"I was thinking we could rest, recuperate, maybe talk," Ianto replied, but he was teasing. "Get something to eat, a good night's sleep…"

Jack laughed and shook his head. "I'm planning on celebrating even if I have to tie you down," he said. "Which actually sounds like a good idea now that I've said it."

"You don't have to convince me," Ianto laughed with him, then shook his head when he realized what he'd just agreed to. "About the celebrating. Although the other part might be worth trying sometime, too."

"Really?" asked Jack, sounding startled.

"Really," Ianto said with a self-conscious shrug. "I'm surprised we haven't tried it already."

Jack pulled him close with a very suggestive look. "Oh, there is so much we haven't tried." He whispered into Ianto's ear, his voice low and suggestive as he punctuated it with a nip. "Quite a list."

"Well," Ianto said, swallowing both his sudden nerves and arousal. "Better make a start on it, then." He kissed Jack long and hard, wet and sloppy and completely unrestrained. And then he stepped back, despite the very obvious tent in his towel. "After you clean up."

Jack groaned in mock frustration. "You drive a hard bargain."

"That's not all that's hard, so be quick about it," Ianto said with a smile. He stepped away and started toward the wardrobe where he'd find something to wear, either his or Jack's. Jack laughed and headed toward the shower, but Ianto turned and called him back. "Jack? I'm glad you're okay, and…well, I'm glad it's you. It's….it's amazing, like you said."

Jack smiled warmly and nodded. "Yes, it is. I'm glad, too. And Ianto? Thank you."

"For what?"

"For staying earlier, at the warehouse. For not running now, even though I know you wanted to. And for later tonight." He winked and went into the bathroom to clean up.

Ianto was sorely tempted to follow, but decided to get dressed. It would allow him a few minutes with his thoughts, still a jumble from the life-changing realization that he and Jack were not only together, but _meant_ to be together. Soulmates. He'd spent his entire life wondering why his mark disappeared, and now he knew: he was destined to be with an immortal time traveler. Though he knew it would be challenging for them both, Ianto couldn't imagine any greater thing than to be with Jack for the rest of his life.

Starting with whatever Jack had planned for later that night.

* * *

Author's Note:  
Sorry it's a few days late, but I had company for the weekend and was spending time with family! Plus, I just couldn't figure out the last page or so. I hope to work on something a bit longer and more realistic next, but who knows what the muse (or Tumblr) will bring forth. Thank you for reading!


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